The new album
Microsoft buys The Sisters of Mercy
A Christmas Carrot
Truth about the new album
Colonel Kurtz vs. Andrew Eldritch
Apocalypse Now vs. The Sisters of Mercy
Why Sisters Fans Are Almost Like Deadheads
Piss the Carpet
Temple of Love Actions
Andrew Eldritch action figures
As done by Todd one evening in a fit of strangeness...
This is a list of actions that go with certain words and phrases within the
song. They're sortof in order, but lines that repeat are missing, and lines
that I'm not creative enough to deal with are omitted... Just kind of stand
there doing nothing, or make up your own actions.
It's very important when performing these actions that you maintain a look
of detached boredom. Think "I don't believe I'm bothering to do this", and
you'll do fine.
Lots of these lines have multiple actions, so that you can kind of pick and
choose, depending on how quickly you can perform each one and how good a
memory you have. Oh, your state of drunkenness (wow, "ispell" knows that one)
might have something to do with it, as well. You don't really want to do
the exact same thing as all your goth friends anyway, since that would be
like conforming and wearing all black, pale make-up, carrying a lunch box, and
err... well, you and your friends can get together and pick what you'll all do.
I've made a number of assumptions such as you being human, or in human form.
If I say "point to your eyes" and you don't have any, then I'm afraid you'll
have to come up with your own version of the actions. If you do, please mail
them to me, and I'll include them with version two ("Now including actions
for other species...").
The words below are based on the lyrics from the Gothic Archive FTP site. If
they are wrong, don't blame me, I only do the actions. Oh, where I definately
think they are wrong, or just don't like them, I've taken the liberty to
"With the fire from the fireworks up above you"
Throw your hands up in the air and open and close your hands repeatedly,
making them look somewhat like exploding fireworks (but ends up looking
more like you're flicking some undesirable substance off of your hands)
"with a gun"
Make a gun with your index finger and thumb. Note, big guns can be made
by using the index finger AND the middle finger. Take your pick, but be
warned... the size of your gun shows alot about your personality.
"for the lover"
Cross your hands over your heart. There are a number of crude alternatives
for this one, but I leave it up to you to think them up.
"and a shot"
Depends on how you take this line. You can do the gun thing again and tip
your hand backwards quickly, simulating recoil from a gun shot. You could
also pretend to inject yourself with something, like a shot of *insert
favorite injected drug here*.
"for the pain inside"
Have a look on your face like some really important part of your body just
got cut off with a chainsaw. Also, tap the middle of your chest, with both
hands together, to get that "inside" bit.
Point away from yourself (preferably to the cute girl/guy that you're
showing off your actions skill to), and then make an absurd running motion
by swinging your arms back and forth at your side, elbows bent with clenched
fists, like you were running.
"for the cover"
Duck down and cover your head with your arms like a large bomb just went off
near you, and you are actually stupid enough to think that ducking like that
helps. For those of you who haven't ever had to duck to avoid a large bomb
blast, duck down like they make you do in airplanes when it's going
to crash (they do that so that you make sure your neck is properly
broken so you don't live to sue).
"of the temple of love"
There's a few 'temple of love' actions. The fastest and easiest is simply to
make a little cross over your heart. Anoter is to cross yourself and then
draw out a heart in front of you with two fingers (start with the dip at the
top of the heart with a finger from each hand pointing away from you, and
go up, around, and down to the point on the bottom). Anything that kindof
combines the idea of temple (religion?) and love will do here, depending on
how fast the lyrics are going.
*** SKIP SOME HERE THAT REPEATS AND I CAN'T REMEMBER THE EXACT WORDING
ANYWAY. MORE RUNNING AND HARD TO DO ACTIONS... STAND THERE STUPIDLY ***
"the wind [will blow]"
References to wind can be solved by blowing, and waving your arms, or hey,
fanning yourself like the air-conditioning broke down in Sanctuary.
Point, or do something to bring attention, to yourself. You can even yell
out your name, just in case people don't know it. Have fun with it... yell
out other people's names, to be confusing. If you have your name tatooed
to yourself anywhere, you can point to that... Pull out your ID (you did
use ID to get into a club didn't you?)... whatever
"across this land"
Sweep your arm across the air in front of you, and then make kind of a
mountain or hill shape in front of you with both hands. Easier yet is to
point at the floor. Best is to make land shapes on the floor, or bring
dirt and throw it down (this could turn into the "Rocky Horror" of Gothdom).
"you hide together"
Point away... do the crouching cover action... for together, take your two
(I hope you have two) index fingers, curled slightly, and link the two,
then quickly turn your hands over and do the same thing..
Point to your head, then either act pained (you're a goth, you can do it),
or show off the latest wounds that your significant other has inflicted on
"and fear outside"
Look like you're being chased by a car full of angry red-necks whom you've
just insulted, and either point at the exit to the club, or put both arms
out straight in front of you and bring them around in a circle until they
meet at the back (if you're normal, this wont happen, and you'll get stuck
half way, but if you are flexible enough to pull this off, give me a call...
we'll get together...)
Either slap yourself (or someone friendly nearby) on the ass, or raise your
eyebrows and point at the ceiling, as if you were a politician explaining
how you had just stolen $4,000,000 in tax dollars, BUT you did it for the
good of the country.
"someone near you"
That's easy. Pick your favorite person near you and point at them, or if
you're dancing alone in your house, half drunk, half dead from lack of
sleep, morbidly depressed because everyone (but not their dog) hates you,
you can point at your invisible enemy.
"rides the weather"
Act like you're riding a horse (this may look vulgar, if you do it
improperly, but that's okay, everyone understands...) and then do your
favorite action for weather (try the rain or thunder actions from this
"and the tears he cried will rain"
Make a pained, "I'm about to burst into tears", face, or actually burst into
tears if you're talented enough to do it on command. Bring your hands down
from around you eyes, fingers splayed and slightly wiggling, to suggest
"on walls as wide as lovers eyes"
Point to the walls (I'm assuming you're inside or at least near a building,
but if you're not, well, then you're out of luck... Stand there patiently,
someone will find you eventually). Hold your arms out as far as they can
go, then cross them over your heart and point to your eyes.
"hear my calling"
Point to your ears, and then make motions like there is something flying
out of your open mouth. Try not to look like you're vomitting.
"hear my name"
Point to your ears once again. If you're wearing a name tag, point to it.
If you can sign really fast, spell your name out in sign language. If all
else fails just tap yourself in the chest.
"and the devil in a black dress"
Make little horns on your head with your fingers. It would be better if you
could grow the little horns on your head, but we can't all be perfect.
If you're wearing a black dress, strip it off and hold it out... well, okay,
perhaps that's overdoing it, just draw attention to it. If there's a cute
goth in a black dress nearby, draw attention to their black dress, and the
fact that you like what's in the dress too.
Put your open hand on your head, horizontally, like you were shading your
eyes from the sun. Make sure you don't smudge any make-up while you're doing
this. You can turn your head like you were scanning the horizon for those
of you who can do more than one thing at a time.
"my gaurdian angel"
Bend your elbows sharply, so that your hands are up by your shoulders, and
bend your fingers repeatedly, looking not very much like wings on an angel.
Optionally, trace out a halo over your head with a finger or two.
Put one hand out, palm up. With the other hand, use the index and middle
fingers as legs, and walk it across your "ground" hand.
"life is short"
Draw your finger across your neck in that classic "you're going to DIE"
"and love is always over"
Classic cross your arms over your heart. "Over" can be done a few ways.
Move one hand over the other like it was jumping over it. Do the classic
"DIE" thing again, for a fairly strong feeling over, especially good if
you're recently single.
"in the morning"
Hold your arms out crossed in front of you, with each hand at the other
arm's elbow. Swivel one arm so that the hand comes up off of the elbow,
but the other hand and elbow don't move. This looks somewhat like a sun
rising from the horizon, which is in fact what happens on most mornings.
Combine previous black and wind actions for this one.
"come carry me far away"
Do the bending over and sweeping the ground with your hands (or hair, if
it's long enough) dance, briefly. This looks somewhat like you're picking
something up... which you can actually do, if you see something neat on the
floor. Tap yourself in the chest, and then point off at some random thing
far away in the distance. Make sure that everyone knows that you're
pointing at somethine far off in the distance, and not just a wall or
something, or they might start thinking you're a little strange.
"with the sunlight died and night above me"
Do the "in the morning" action, but in reverse. If you can't figure this
one out, you get a goth point for not being able to follow directions, and
I get two for not being able to give them. Throw your hands in the air
and gesture at whatever is over your head at the moment.
"throw your walls aside"
Make a throwing motion, much like you were throwing a ball, or if you
prefer, make throwing up actions (we all know you've practiced this one
by drinking far too much snakebite). Now gesture to the walls, or a
reasonable facsimile thereof. Pick a side... any side. Make
everyone know that it is a side, and that you've thrown the walls there.
"old and strong"
Pretend to have a cane, and wiggle around on it a bit like you're having
problems keeping your balance, due to old age and the fact that you're
senile. Then do your best Arnold Sschhhwarrtznwhatever impression and show
off all your big strong muscles.
"black sky thunder"
This song sure does have alot of references to black. It's a good thing that
it's easy for you to deal with this one. The sky is above you hopefully,
somewhere, so you can throw your hands up, and then quickly make exploding
thunderlike gestures above your head. (Alternatively, you could whip up a
small storm in a test tube and hold that above your head, but make sure that
it doesn't rain and spoil your make-up)
Do a quick sweeping motion, like you were sweeping the spilled white face
powder under your carpet before the dog licked it up. Then hold out one
hand with the palm down and fingers slightly curled to be a piece of land,
and move the other hand under it, in a wavy motion.
"and over water sounds"
Try underground, but over instead. Make some waves in the air with one
or more hands, or if there are a lot of you dancing in a line, start a
wave, and see if you can get it to go around the club. OR, you can do
that neat thing with your arms that came around in the break-dancing era,
and if you can, leave the club. Grab your ear, quickly. Now. DO IT.
"of crying, weeping"
Previous bit about crying like rain, minus the rain inserted here...
"will not save your faith"
Since I can't come up with anything for saving, just sit there and shake
your head, signifying a negative idea. Now, you can do the action for your
favorite faith (if there is an action), and if you don't have a faith, don't
do anything at all.
"bricks and dreams"
If you are in a club with brick walls, run over to them and attempt to pry
one out, and commence hitting yourself in the head with one. If this is
out of the question, make a square shape with your hands, and then do a
dreamy hand motion around your head.
There's got to be mortar on the brick you pried out... If not, you're really
screwed, because I don't have any mortar action.
"all your prayers"
If you pray, show everyone how... If you don't, do the typical Christian
hands together thing. If that repulses you, don't do anything.
"must seem as nothing"
Spread your empty (you have thrown the brick away by now) hands out, showing
how there is nothing in them. Please don't tell me that there is air or
dirt or sweat or super ultra-hold hairspray in them.
Flash nine fingers, then flash six fingers. If you don't have that many
fingers, take off your boots and do it with your toes.
"below the wave"
Wow, it's about time for that wave to be coming back again... Otherwise,
wave at a cute goth, or make watery shapes or breakdance or something like
that. Oh, and if you do catch the wave coming around the club, run off
and live in a stadium. Never come back. Pretend I don't know you...
"when stone is dust"
With your super preternatural vampire strength, grab a nearby rock and crush
it into dust. If you can't do this, the make a fist (like that great
paper/rock/scissors game) and then open your hand, palm upwards near your
face and blow lightly on it.
"and only air remains"
If you can get everyone out of the club really fast, then only air (and
smoke) would remain. Otherwise, open your hands and show that only air
is in them... YEAH, OK, I told you not to tell me that air was in your
hands a few lines ago, but now it IS.. Deal with it.